JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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