i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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