Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
