Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
