big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
