More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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