I'm so fucking centered right now
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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