Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
