Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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