wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
