what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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