I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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