Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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