her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
