There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
