The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
