Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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