So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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