I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
