How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize