U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The air taste purple.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
