Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
