I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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