Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
