Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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