So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
