Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
