Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
don't judge my taste in strippers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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