the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
