at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
