for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
