I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize