so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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