...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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