That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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