New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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