can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he fucked my hip out of place.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
