I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
should my penis look like a turkey
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
