Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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