Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
