How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
