birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
