i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
smell my finger.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
