Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
