Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I would ride that face into the sunset
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
