I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
