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• (313): View more from Michigan

  You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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• (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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• (707): View more from California

  Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?

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• (760): View more from California

  do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?

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