And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize