dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
