He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Boobs are out for the taking
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize