ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize