She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
