You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
