Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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