Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Terrible idea I love it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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