Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
