Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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