office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
