I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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