I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
