Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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