No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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