I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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