Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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